Everyone knows that every single parents in the world care and love their kids. However, some parents don’t know how to show their concern or express their love, and started being over protective, controlling every single thing in their kids’ life. And that’s when problems start cropping e.g. kids running away from home, especially during their rebellious adolescent years.
Same thing happens in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. There is a line between caring and controlling, and once you cross the line, it will no doubt affect the relation to a certain extent. Ever since being engaged in a relationship, this is one of the many things that I need to learn – learning to be a considerate partner and a caring companion but at the same time not being too domineering and overbearing. Ha, not that I am those possessive type of guys, but just that there are lots of guys out there who actually try to show their care for their love ones, but to the extent of controlling their partners and that doesn’t seem right to me at all. And yes, their partners might run away from them, miles and miles away, like how those kids running away from home! 
Let’s take simple things in life for example. When it’s winter and the weather is cold, a boyfriend may advise his girlfriend to wear thicker, and that’s caring! But if a boyfriend controls what his girlfriend wears, mm…for example disallows her wearing skirts, in fear that other guys out there might stare or take advantage on his girlfriend, that’s controlling! mm… are there actually guys who do that, or am I giving exaggerated examples? 
Another example. Let’s say a guy loves basketball and is actively involved in the basketball society in university. If his girlfriend notices that his involvement in the sports is affecting his academic performance and advises him to reduce the time spent on the sports and society activities, that’s caring. But if his girlfriend forces him to quit the society and prohibits him from ever playing basketball again, as she thinks that it’s taking up their time spent together, mm… let’s say giving ultimatum: choose basketball or me, then I think that’s controlling, and inconsiderate as well!
How about a more complicated example. A couple with different religion background. I know quite a number of such couples and yes, I am in exactly the same situation as well . Let’s say, a Buddhist boyfriend knows that his Christian girlfriend has to go to for weekly Sunday services, so he sends her to the church and picks her up later or even accompanies her to the services some of the weeks, that’s caring, and being open-minded as well. But if a Buddhist boyfriend limits the frequency of his Christian girlfriend going to church or prohibits her from engaging in any church activities, that’s controlling, and being disrespectful as well!
Well, I can come out with lots of other examples, but my point here is that there’s a line between caring and controlling, and it’s up to the two parties (parents-kids or boyfriend-girlfriend) to decide where the line is for their respective situation. And if one incessantly crosses the line and being completely ignorant about it, there will be a point where the other party will ‘burst’ and there will never be any opportunity of turning back at that stage.
So, ever thought that you might have crossed the line unconsciously?
And for the following week (from 1st-8th July), we will be attending Australian Medical Student Association, AMSA 2007 Convention in Adelaide Convention Center. So, that’s my rough itinerary for the coming two weeks. Hopefully I will have time to share my experience in Adelaide after returning!
